If I could

I wish..
I wish I could stay within myself and lock the doors,
I wish I could deceive myself for better or get hypnotized,
I wish I could CHANGE the TOPIC and i refuse to use ERAZER
I wish..
could not dream anymore
and then I don't see myself waking up with her next morning
I wish..
she would never ever realize and
and i would never ever convey
I wish..
if we would not decide and meet
...rather meet and decide
I wish..
I put my headphones and just stitch them over my ears
I switch my music player on and RAG(E)RAZE
I wish if we could grow up (together)
I wish if we could die (together)
I wish I could LET GO
I wish ..punquishh.

~ 18th Jan 2010